The stuff behind the dream

So my mum thinks all I do is work on porn when I’m doing Celebrate Living History stuff.

I laugh and shrug it off, I know she is joking but inside it really does hurt.

Sometimes my parents don’t understand why I do what I do and truthfully at times I feel like giving up.

If all I cared about were money then I would have given up on my dream a long time ago.

I took time out to sort out my life and discover what really drives me, what really makes me passionate.

All I wanted to be was a carnie QUEEN! Hanging out with the Luna Park crew
All I wanted to be was a carnie QUEEN! Hanging out with the Luna Park crew

In amongst all the dust, I discovered journals that I wrote when I was 21 back then I felt like I had the world at my feet. I did not know what I wanted to do; all I wanted to be was a super carnie.

Even then I had dreams that no one else thought of, I wanted to do the impossible and the often crazy.

On my quest I travelled overseas to work at a theme park called Drayton Manor, I made mates with the CEO and sent him letters about my travel experiences as a camp counselor at Camp Cinqueka in the months before heading to England.

Its funny I never knew him but somehow I managed to become good friends and an employee during the winter season!

While I was travelling overseas I ran out of money but that did not deter me, I ended up working in a factory called Express Gifts where I packed many dog mats for Christmas. It was the most boring job in the world but my goal was to save enough to go to Paris. I wanted to see the Eiffel Tower in all its glory!

In those weeks I made many friends at the factory, the one thing that was consistent in my good-bye notes was that my laugh stood out. I could make the most boring thing in the world fun. If I am focused then I will often succeed in the impossible.

I made it to the top of the Eiffel Tower!
I made it to the top of the Eiffel Tower!

I did end up going to Paris and it was the most rewarding experience in the world, it was so bizarre from always being surrounded by English speakers to be surrounded by French speakers. It was totally different to the world I knew but it was exciting to be in the place where romance was born.

Looking at my past, it seems like I always stuck to what I was passionate about. Even if it seemed crazy then I most often will succeed because in my mind I knew that nothing is impossible.

One of my students mentioned a marketing workshop that I should attend, it sounded amazing but at $3000 there was no way I could afford to go. But then I realized that I am the best at using my own resources, I never let money get in the way of my goals. I always think outside the box and do my very best out of a tight situation. Sure I don’t have the cash but I have access to You-Tube, volunteer opportunities, books and real-life people who can help me.

Hanging with my  Celebrate Living History crew Emma and Melissa at the Walkley Workshop General Assembly Melbourne
Hanging with my Celebrate Living History crew Emma and Melissa at the Walkley Workshop General Assembly Melbourne

If I really want to do something then I think outside the box. One of the organisations that I admire Milaana which focused on hooking community groups with students decided to stop their great work because of lack of resources. On the outside it looked like they were doing really well, but I suppose looks can be deceiving. Milaana looked like they were doing such a great job in the community and even had the support of Google to continue what they were doing. Its sad when great organisations don’t get support or struggle to survive, even though I know if I were to step down from Celebrate Living History all the hard work, over the past three years will slowly break down and then disappear.

If that were to happen, my heart would break many times. Being the founder of Celebrate Living History is like giving birth, I popped my baby out in 2012 and she has slowly grown to where she is now. It sounds corny but if I were to give up now then it feels like I will never give Celebrate Living History the opportunity to grow into the human she was meant to be.

I truly believe that Celebrate Living History will grow to be 100 and keep connecting generations for as long as she can. I won’t give up; I will just keep looking at opportunities to partner with those who can help.

Believe in your dream because if you don’t then no one else will.


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